Note to Self
by Brown Shoe Laces
Summary: Hinata had loved Naruto for as long as she remembered, Naruto and ONLY Naruto. It didn't matter that he was gay,he could change RIGHT? and it certainly didn't matter that she was attracted to Gaara...RIGHT? AU Pairings: Hinata x Gaara, Naruto x Sasuke Do
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: **Includes shounen-ai, uh yuri (I think, better safe than sorry) and omfgosh, het! If you don't like, click the nice button as the top of the window and please for your sake and my sanity leave this page.

**Author's Note: **Yes this is AU which means WOW! Everybody is everybody's friend. Uh, no. But still. And no this is not a high school fic. No it does not have a plot. xD Yes it is basically everyone being paired off with everyone else. And no I don't want to know whether you like (well if you like the pairing then okay, I am happy :D) the pairing or not. If you have a problem with gay relationships I don't wanna know. If you hate the way I write, I don't really give a fuck. If you are an intolerant moron, then seriously if you tell me I'll hunt you down and your firstborn child and his/her first born child and so on and so forth. If you flame me, you basically prove that you are an idiot but hell I love knowing that I am pissing someone off. So have a massive flame-orgy (er I don't think that makes sense ) and tell me how much you hate me. I love to feel the love. Uh sorry for the rather massive rant about basically nothing. I should have said you could have skipped it I guess. If you read it and are still gonna read my story, cheers to you and thank you lots hugs

**Definite Pairings: **Gaara x Hinata (main) Naruto x Sasuke (side) More if you want :D

**Disclaimer: **Hell if I owned Naruto, Sasuke and Naruto would be fucki…-ahem- so yeah I don't own Naruto.

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****Chapter One: Stay Away From a Gaara with a Knife**

"Come _on_ Hinata, you aren't chickening out already, are you?"

Naruto's smile was teasing as he dragged her through the swaying sea of human bodies. Hinata sighed and bit her lip. She had known him for twelve years, and yet every casual taunt still made her heart ache. His yellow head bobbed ahead of her, highlighted in blue and green and red as the room's lighting shifted erratically over the crowd.

He would never understand.

He stopped suddenly and Hinata skidded, bumping into the person who had stood up to greet Naruto. Murmuring an apology, she dodged back behind Naruto quickly. When she finally raised her head, it was when Naruto, with a great cry of 'Damn! I forgot Hinata' pulled her by her arm and introduced her around the table to his friends.

"That's Lee and, yup, those eyebrows are natural, and that's Gaara, and he…."

The rest of Naruto's words were lost to Hinata as she stared at Lee with an expression akin to horror on her face.

"My God, are those are _caterpillars_?" she breathed to herself, watching the black furry things wiggle with an almost morbid fascination.

Hinata woke up from her thoughts when Naruto choked into his drink, bubbles splashing his chin. She blushed a bright, tomato red almost simultaneously with Lee and muttering apologies as fast as she could, she got into her seat.

The eyebrow incident was forgotten quickly as Naruto launched into an epic retelling of his latest prank. However, she could only catch a few phrases, like: "then I took the magic marker…" and: "I always knew that pink tutu would come in handy…" because most of her attention was spent in eying the ways Lee's eyebrows had an evil life of their own.

"Gee Hinata-chan, stop staring at Lee and just ask him to dance." Naruto's cheerful voice caused Hinata to choke on her water.

"No thank you, Hinata-san, though passing up the opportunity to spend such a wonderful and glorious evening dancing and demonstrating our youthful vigor is a shame because it would have been pleasing…"

Lee's ramblings allowed Hinata to ruefully stare at Naruto, who seemed to have forgotten that he had said anything and was angrily retelling something else, making rude hand gestures from time to time.

He would never, ever, **ever **understand.

"Would you like to dance?"

The question was spoken so quietly that Hinata barely heard it and continued to look at Naruto, blushing from time to time. It was when silence reigned (except for Naruto, who was, as always oblivious to everything) that she tilted her head up to look at the questioner.

Black hair. Black eyes. Pale skin. Absolutely _gorgeous._ He couldn't have been asking _her. But,_ she was the only girl here, so…

Her thoughts were still spiraling in differing directions as a pale hand grabbed Naruto by the upper arm and hauled him up.

"…and the bastard, he fucking – what the heck!"

"Would you. Like to. Dance." He enunciated each word carefully and slowly, rolling his eyes and then added for good measure, "…dobe."

"Hey what… wait, wait, wait…hey! I am not… Damnit! Shut up bastard, you can't call me that!"

Still rolling his eyes, Absolutely Gorgeous dragged Naruto off in the direction of the writhing mass of bodies, ignoring his protests.

Hinata gulped down her water and for good measure tried to gulp down the closest amber filled glass, and gagged.

_He takes the time and breath to protest an insult, but he—he didn't protest being manhandled and being considered… this is so UNFAIR! _

Groaning, she buried her face in her hands, ignoring Lee's delighted cries of "young love" and tried to feel the tears that should be prickling behind her eyes. Instead she found red, hot, burning anger.

He couldn't be _that _stupid. Even if he wasn't the brightest bulb on the wall, he couldn't have missed all those times she blushed and stuttered (over a period of _twelve_ goddamn _years_) and helped him when he needed money, or shelter, or ramen, or an extra box of Kleenex tissues every time he was sick…and all those fucking Valentine Day's chocolates…

She had _wasted_ so much money last Valentine's Day, getting a make over – Hinata Hyuuga, the person who thought a short sleeve was _too revealing_, in a dress. **In a _Dress_**. She groaned again but curbed herself from viciously attacking someone (preferably Lee who was now onto marriage and _children_) as she finally raised her head.

She glanced moodily at the dance floor, still ignoring Lee's enraptured cries and Gaara, who was flipping the blade of his pocketknife in and out, while also watching the dance floor with an odd expression on his face. He flicked the knife shut with a loud click and stood up, scraping his chair even more loudly across the floor.

Grabbing Hinata by the upper arm (none to gently, she thought angrily, later when she had recovered sufficiently from the shock), he walked purposely into the heart of the thumping music and pushed aside rippling dancers, going God-knows-where. She was left to apologize to the vague, blurring faces and stumble after him. _What the hell had been in that cup?_

Finally he stopped and swung her around.

"Dance."

Hinata's eye twitched. She was facing an imminent emotional melt down, she barely _knew_ him, and _he_ wanted _her _to _dance_.

And he hadn't even asked her politely and even more appalling, he hadn't even greeted her, or talked to her, or anything, before. She opened her mouth to stutter out – forcibly protest - when he tilted his head and _looked _at her.

She squeaked and closed her mouth with a snap and shuffled her feet according to the beat. Not that he helped at all. He just stood there like a lump and barely inched along the floor _and _where in hell could he be looking if he was supposed to be dancing with her?

Hinata followed his gaze and her eyes widened as she saw Naruto and the (she was too sheltered to dig up any good, creative obscenities) guy who had dragged the love of her life away from her, literally.

Naruto looked a bit uncomfortable, but that could have been because of two girls who were glowering at him and trying to maneuver him away from that guy (again Hinata tried to envision a good adjective, and failed). Her eyes trailed back to Gaara, who was watching the four-some with an almost scary expression on his face.

Hinata bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from squeaking and wondered for just _how _long Naruto had been… (_say it; say it, quickly so it won't hurt so much_) gay. He had to be: her crush (_her love_, she corrected) was gay because he had—_my god_—he was dancing with a _guy_, and it hadn't been a dare, and there hadn't been ramen involved, or anything.

The song was ending and the DJ was introducing another song, its quick, electrifying beats vibrating across the mob of dancers. Gaara's gaze flickered to her for a second before shifting back to Naruto.

Was it her imagination or was he _scowling_? Hinata held back the urge to step on his foot, hard, because not only was he providing more evidence for the fact that Naruto was… But he was also ignoring her. It wasn't that Hinata wasn't used to being ignored, but she was angry, sad, bewildered, and heart-broken and she wanted to make someone else hurt more than she was.

Instead, she took the time provided by monotonous, automatic dance steps, to study the man who was supposedly dancing with her. If he and Naruto had been (she shuddered a little)… _boyfriends_, then shouldn't she have seen him before this?

Certainly she wouldn't have forgotten him if she had seen him. His hair was wild and in this lighting, was the color of crusted blood. It stood out in stark contrast against his pale skin (did Naruto have a _thing _for pale skin?) and although his eyes were averted, she could see that they were some weird shade in between blue and green.

He shifted slightly and his hair slid back from his fore head to reveal a tattoo. A kanji symbol? She frowned a little and leaned a little closer, murmuring a few words before… _Love_? Her gaze flicked to his eyes again and though she could see sparks of anger in them, behind everything was a cold wall of _blankness_, not stupidity, just well blankness, a lack of emotions.

She shivered. _Love_? Was it supposed to be in irony?

Hinata suddenly noticed how close she was to him, almost pressed against his chest, and stumbled back quickly. She almost fell onto the dancing couple behind her, but the figures, laughing, pushed her back onto her feet.

Gaara hadn't stopped staring at Naruto.

Men were such _pigs. _They had women and they wanted other men.

She shook her head lightly; trying to shrug the situation away, and turned around, ready to go home.

She knew she shouldn't have come tonight: her instincts were always right. Her instincts, however, had not held up against a pleading Naruto, and now could not hold up against Gaara.

Feet moving again with the next song, she shot outraged looks at Gaara who in turn ignored them. If she bit her lip further, trying to restrain herself, she would draw blood.

Actually she already had and the metallic taste in her mouth and the sharp pain as her lip tore open brought tears to her eyes. She sniffled, and suddenly, the tears that had mysteriously eluded her before were there, and she was angry at Naruto, and Gaara, and at the horrible music, and the bad food, and every other thing that was going wrong.

And, leaning close, she made perhaps the worst mistake of her life. Her lips close to his ears, she took a deep breath and whispered, mockingly; "He doesn't want you anymore. Why don't you give up?"

He whirled around so fast that his face was a blur, a red, peachy blur. She took an unsteady step back and pressed her fist into her mouth to keep from whimpering.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmyohmyohmy…. _

Hinata cringed a little and kicked herself mentally. She provoked him, and yet, like the coward she was, had pulled away from his impending anger.

She would never change.

Hinata shuddered, and he was so close that she shuddered against him, and her eyes flew up to his face, to his blue-bright eyes.

And maybe this was her biggest mistake because she was caught in them, and not in the lovey-dovey romantic way, more like a deer mesmerized by the tiger, who was slowly and surely grinning to reveal his fangs.

He, too, was smiling, his lips curving just a little at the edges; she almost looked away, because that smile was really a mockery of a smile. All those brave thoughts, all those complaints against him and the lightness of the evening before, Lee and his eyebrows, Naruto and his prank, Gaara and his…and his… knife disappeared.

_I am sorry, I am so, so sorry, and I don't want to die an early death. _

Those words were at her lips, her palms poised to push him away. Was he angry; was he insane; was he…? His eyes and his smile, with his teeth a little too sharp and a little too white, she tried to step back, but she had wasted too much time: one of his arms had curved around her shoulder, awkwardly as if though he was unused to human contact, but still clenching, his nails digging into her upper arm. His other hand fingering the plain, sleek hilt of his knife and she really did whimper then.

_Why was he so mad? Why was he so mad? That comment hadn't been that hurtful, and even then – _

"And I could say the same to you."

It was the equivalent of saying 'boo' and he let go off her, knife sliding back into the folds of his shirt. Eyes widening in shock and adrenaline rushing from her body, she fell backwards.

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**Authors Note: **So um nothing much happened in this chapter, I think. Er Naruto and Sasuke got together (it was unpreventable, sorry folks who don't like the pairing) and Hinata and Gaara got introduced. So I guess good start. Chapter two up sometime this week, hopefully what with my computer having a major virus on it TT. If you read the chapter do this poor author a favor and post a review. Critic, corrections, comments, or just simply something about if you liked it or not. Anything's welcome PLEASE PLEASE also give thanks to my beta, celinae-chan and I shall have a link up soon, for turning my mess of a chapter into something readable :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** Contains highly toxic amounts of het, shounen-ai, maybe femslash, other things like out-of-character behavior, unnecessary amounts of fluff and angst and weird humor. If allergic, don't' read (contents may cause anger, indignation, moronic behavior, the urge to make a fool of yourself, and a prickly rash on your fingers)

**Disclaimer:** No.

**Author's Note: **Ahhh it's been ages. **Sorry Sorry Sorry.** But school is so hectic (I am a high school freshman :D) so this was totally late. But this is a Halloween present to you lovely reviewers who liked it. I hope you guys as having a great Halloween (so far I am) and enjoy. Oh yeahs, give GREAT GREAT GREAT THANKS to my beta celinae-chan who did a super duper job and made this chapter xtra wonderful.

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**Chapter Two: Sailing Down the Nile**

The light hurt her eyes and her mouth tasted as if though she had eaten a handful of hair – that wasn't in any way red. Hinata groaned, sitting up and falling back almost simultaneously.

_Naruto_.

**OH, GOD.**

It hadn't happened. _Of course_ it hadn't. Naruto had NOT danced with a guy yesterday. He had danced with a very pretty, if rather masculine, girl with a deep voice.

Of course. _Definitely._

Oh, damn.

She couldn't deny it, couldn't deny that her obsession was –_say it, rip the band-aid off fast_— was gay. Hinata couldn't remember ever having a problem with homosexuality before, but this was the man she had planned to marry, had recited the names of their twelve future children each night before bed. Okay, so she was exaggerating, but still, Naruto HAD danced with a guy yesterday and he had WANTED to. If he hadn't, he would have punched the guy in the face, not argued with him.

Hinata curled up into a ball. _Wasn't alcohol supposed to make you forget?_

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It was funny how comfortable a toilet seat was. Most people would have complained about its insanitariness. Not Hinata. She sat there, running her toe along cracks in the floor tiles, kicking random, non-existent things, and just generally sulking.

She sighed and closed her eyes, expecting to be assaulted with images of Naruto—and was greeted with red against pale skin, burning aquamarine against black, satin under her fingertips _– and what the fuck?_

Hinata's eyes snapped open.

_Well..._that certainly was interesting/

She was saved from mulling over what exactly had happened last night when the phone began ringing shrilly. Hinata felt a burst of happiness and energy at the sound. It HAD to be Naruto, calling to say last night was a mistake, and then teleporting himself to her apartment, professing his love for her and fervently kissing her while church bells rang in the background. She permitted herself one heartfelt, blissful sigh before running out of the bathroom and into her living room to pick up the phone.

It WAS Naruto, but he didn't sound very sorry. In fact, he sounded somewhat worried and exasperated.

Fifteen minutes later, she was blinking at Naruto, disbelievingly.

"You're a girl, Hinata," (_Thank you for finally noticing_, Hinata thought wryly) "and so which one do you think looks better, the blue or the black?"

Naruto held up two shirts and waved them in front of Hinata. She wished she could curl up into a fetal position on the floor but instead wordlessly picked the blue shirt.

"I have a date," he explained with a bright grin while he stripped off his pajamas.

If Hinata had been an anime character, she would have gotten a nosebleed and then fainted on the floor, blood dripping out of her nose. But she just looked away, a blush burning on her face as she occasionally sneaked a peak. (_Hey, who says I'm innocent?) _Then she blinked as she processed what Naruto had just said.

"With whom?" She wanted a name, phone number, address, picture, and permission to kill that lucky bitch multiple times, every method gory, and full pain and groans, and blood spilling on the floor, and shimmering red knives, and—

"Uh… you 'member Sasuke?"

"Sasuke?" Warning lights flashed in Hinata's head. _A guy's name?_

"Mmhmn, from last night. Hey, Hinata, do you think I have to treat him like a girl (cuz obviously, _I_ am the guy in the relationship) and should I bring him flowers? Or maybe chocolate… but maybe that would give him the wrong idea… He may think I want to turn him on or something on the first date. Wait, do I wanna turn him on, on the first date? Hinata?"

"Naruto, he's a _guy_, not a girl."

It was amazing how calm she was being about this.

"Yeah, but aren't we gay?"

"Aren't you – _GAH_!"

How was she supposed to keep on deluding herself if he kept on being so blunt about his sexuality?

God, she was _pathetic_.

She was a Hyuuga. She should be moving on gracefully, not harping and arguing with herself over the same things again and again. But then, she had always been the defunct Hyuuga. If she had missed out on the Hyuuga strength, charm, brains, and beauty, what made her think that she had received their grace and pride?

If she stayed any longer in Naruto's apartment, Hinata was going to _maul_ something. So, with that reasoning in mind, she turned to leave, and opened the door to collide with a lot of bony shoulder and scruffy red hair. And remembered too late that the doorbell had been ringing for the past few minutes.

She stumbled back, and in the usual un-Hyuuga-like fashion, tripped over her own feet. After a moment of blankness, she found herself sprawled on the ground, and wincing from the sudden lash of pain, realized that the loud crack had actually been her head against the floor.

Dazed, and almost certain that she had a concussion, she gazed up at _HIM_.

_That is most certainly NOT God_, she told herself as her vision stopped exploding into fizzing white stars. _But pretty damn close._

Hinata clamped a mental popup blocker on the strange, unwanted thought and stared up at Gaara.

He looked pretty much the same as he had yesterday, sleek, poised, and a little crazy. Funny how such a weird combination made him look so hot (_again mental popup blocker to the rescue!_).

_Huh, well not exactly the same, his shirt is different, since last night he had thirteen buttons_, Hinata thought, contemplatively, as she pulled herself up onto her elbows… and dropped back again to the floor.

There was no way in hell that she was going to think about how she knew that.

Lee-of-the-living-eyebrows looked in over Gaara's shoulder and began admonishing him for letting a lady drop to the floor. But Hinata could see, even from her position on the floor, that his face said, _What lady?_

Hinata cringed and tried to remember EXACTLY what she had done last night. Why did she have to forget the things she _needed_ to know? Gaara brushed past her as she racked her memory, and Lee stooped to help her up, but she muttered a nervous "Thanks," and followed Gaara to Naruto's room (conveniently forgetting why she had wanted to leave in the first place).

Half an hour later found Hinata watching the door as it opened and the guy from last night stepped inside. His eyes first rested on her, sitting Indian-style on Naruto's bed, to Gaara, twisting backwards in a chair to scratch something into the wood with his knife, and finally to Lee, who was being whacked by Naruto for trying to make Naruto's eyebrows more substantial with a pen. His eyebrow elegantly arched into his hairline.

"Hey bastard, ever heard of knocking?"

Naruto was standing with his hands on his hips and glaring at Sasuke. "What if I wasn't dressed?" he shouted, flinging his arms around, his tone indignant. The look that appeared on Sasuke's face said exactly what he would have done in such a scenario.

Blushing, Naruto mumbled something, and dragged Sasuke outside, who by the distant look in his eyes, was still _somewhere else._

"Lock up when you're leaving," Naruto said over his shoulder, throwing his keys at Hinata.

"Wait, won't you need them to come back in?"

"I don't think he'll need to," Sasuke, who was now back in the present, interjected smoothly and had somehow slipped an arm around Naruto's waist. With a smirk, he reached behind him and snapped the door shut.

The awkward silence they left behind was broken by Lee, who bounded to his feet and with a flashing grin and thumbs up sign, started saying something about friendship and love.

Until Gaara shot a vicious glare, and his knife, at Lee.

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**Authors Note: **Pwahahah. So ends chapter two. Anybody still reading this? Sides me? The ending's crazily abrupt but I had no clue how to end it so yeah. You don't get any Gaara/Hinata interactions, well much at least. Yes I am an evil author. Either ways there is a lonely purple button on the bottom of the page. Go make it happy. (anybody besides me perverted enough to see how wrong that sounds xD) 


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